I am a Yankees fan. I keep hearing these odd voices. Huh, anyway. Aren’t we told that all Yankees fans are bandwagoners. I am a Yankees fan. I mean, the “real Yankees fans” are rude, boorish, and thick-headed, right? Not like the Phillies fans, the Red Sawx fans, the Mets fans… now they are good fans right? Besides, who would admit to being a Yankees fan right now? With the World Series right around the corner, the “Phightin’ Phils” are the sports world’s darlings right? The Bombers stand no chance, it will be a sweep. I heard this in the barber shop yesterday so it has to be true! Still, there is that nagging voice in the back of my head…….I am a Yankees fan.
What’s the use of showing up for the games anyway if the Phils are so dominant? Ryan Howard is going to hit 27 home runs in the sweep and Cliff Lee will throw a perfect game. What? Not likely? But this is what Phils fans expect. They are going to walk all over the Yanks. I am a Yankees fan. Someone help me get that voice out of my head. I know we are going to lose, you all don’t have to keep reminding me. J.A. Haap is the second coming, Pedro is god on earth, and let’s not get started on Brad Lidge, the greatest closer of all…….Mariano? Oh, and there is J-Roll, the best shortstop in the game right? Derek Jeter…Clap, clap, clap, clap, clap… The only man in baseball good enough to have a shortened name. ARod, clap, clap, Arod, clap, clap.. These voices again, I don’t know….
Anyway, I just wanted to use this time to congratulate the Phils on winning the Series today, before it ever begins, you know, because we don’t stand a chance. I am a Yankees fan. Sarcasm? NO. I was the first one to count the Bombers out when they lost game five against the Angels and I always am the first to criticize everything they do, so of course I’m serious. But still, the voices! I am a Yankees fan!… So, congrats Phils on your……….Third?…….World Series title? Third? As of today, the Marlins have two and they have only been in the league since 1993. You’re going after a ………third? The Yankees had a third title before WWII. And they weren’t even around in 1893, the dawn of the Phils. Wait a minute…..I am a Yankees fan… That voice is mine. It’s like coming out of a dream.. or a nightmare. A nightmare for the Phillies.
Come on in to the greatest city in the world boys, bring J-roll and Victorino, Pedro and Un be LEE vable, Lidge and Utley. We’re waiting. You’re not playing a second class AAA team from Tampa this time, now you are playing with the big boys. Come on in, do you see that strange look on Pedro’s face? He’s been here before, he knows what Five O’clock Thunder means. Hey, Hammels, while you’re here, take a look around your future home. Oh, and Ryan Howard, that spot on the bench where Matsui is now, that will be reserved for you.
One question, Phillies fans…How does it feel to know that you will soon lose a World Series and eventually two of your best players to the same team? Feels great to me but then again………..I am a Yankees fan.